Business As Usual

Earlier MSN conversation between band manager Conor and me -- a prime example of how Soul Plane handles formal administrative tasks while dressed up in Western business attire:

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

One time I farted and my neighbours called the police to complain about a domestic disturbance

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

no frikin way

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

that was u?

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

Yes

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

what's going on

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

You coming back this weekend for the show?

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

ye il be there

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

whats ur set lookin like

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

8 songs, on at 11 30

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

thats pretty hype

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

any new shit i havent heard?

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

SO much

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

Well, really, 2 songs.

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

ah

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

damn

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

thats like

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

almost 3

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

Trust me, we sound good

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

goood, im stoked

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

I'm not.

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

I'm leaving this band after this show.

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

I can't balance school and this at the same time, on top of that a full time job.

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

huh

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

I mean it. I can't be part of Soul Plane anymore.

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

why dint u tell me this earlier

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

I'm just fucking with you, you asshole

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

stfu ur jokin

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

You honestly think I'd leave Soul Plane?

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

HAhasd;ksdafl;ashfashf

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

Wow, what a fucking retard.

Dr. Conor Cutz A.K.A. Dax Flame says:

ur a fuckin clown shoe

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

How worried were you right there for a second?

- http://soulplanemusic.blogspot.com [UPDATED] says:

Don't lie, that shit gave you erectile dysfunction.

It’s not even funny how quickly we’re going nowhere in life.

How Soul Plane Was Spared By Change

Since Daniel Paiken’s departure from Soul Plane, we’ve had to scramble to get replacements. Dan’s roles and responsibilities assumed in this band were anything but minimal; as a result, the last couple weeks leading up to the beginning of September were more chaotic than most war-torn regions of Iraq. Unlike those regions of Iraq, however, we were actually able to rebuild efficiently.

Besides the Dan situation, we also had Blythe to worry about; she was going to be going away to Kingston for university, a three-hour drive from Toronto – realistically, there was no way she would be able to come back weekly for practices – that she would even be able to come back for the local shows we put on from time to time was still a big question. There was no going around it – she would have to find a substitute. Or so we thought…

To her credit, when we spoke to her about it, she was very understanding and mature in her reasoning. She knew that she was going away, and that getting back during the 8-month-long school term would be difficult. She knew better than to be selfish about it, however, and immediately agreed to introduce Nickie, her good friend (and the only other girl she knew who could sing at her calibre) to Soul Plane, and prepared to wave her goodbyes to a band she genuinely loved and wished she could commit to.

This is where having the ability to see the bigger picture pays off: Blythe never said her goodbyes, because she is still very much part of Soul Plane. The minute I hung up with her after the Nickie conversation, I realized that there was a simple solution to this: with Dan gone, we’d be missing harmonizing vocals to make the choruses of our tracks sound more full. Both Blythe and Nickie are great singers, and having been taught extensively by the same teacher, their voices would have a similar tone to them – meaning that they would also sound heavenly when singing together. On top of all that, they’re both gorgeous; one’s blonde, the other’s a brunette (it’s going to feel like a motherfucking Archie comic at every show and practice from now on). Why the hell would we not want to get the best of both worlds?

And so we did.

Nickie is now going to be singing full-time with Soul Plane, but when Blythe actually gets back for any given show, it has been agreed that they would sing on stage together, with me rapping in the middle – any man’s wet dream come true.

Soul Plane’s new line-up:
Yui: Emcee
Blythe/Nickie: Vocals
Kevin: Guitar
Gideon: Guitar
Patrick: Bass
Aaron: Drums

Soul Plane… we’re still here, haters.

Catch Soul Plane at Clinton’s Tavern (693 Bloor St. W.) on the 29^th of September!

Without Further Ado... Adieu

Change is never easy, always inevitable. Change always picks sides – for the better, or for the worse. Change often comes in the form of a fork in the road, whereby the person(s) directly implemented in the soon-to-be-modified environment are put in a position where they are forced to make a decision that will subsequently change the course of history – a permanent effect. Sometimes, compromises and sacrifices need to be made – the highest-valued alternatives forgone. However, decisions to induce change for the better cannot be made without first having the maturity and stable-mindedness to make these decisions and stick to one’s guns no matter the cost – a true test of the strength of one’s character lies in their ability to reach an objective by any means necessary to benefit a population as a whole – purely utilitarian.

That being said, Soul Plane salutes you, Dan. Thank you sincerely for bringing us together, and we all hope that you succeed in whatever endeavour it is you choose you pursue. Take care, homie, and peace out.

Art Jam And Encounters With The Homeless Kind

Date: August 29^th, 2007
Venue: Rancho Relaxo
Series: Art Jam

We all thought this day would never come – Soul Plane’s last show of the summer – but it did, and we were stoked. Let’s face it; for a band that has been jamming for a grand total of five months, we’ve had a pretty good run. In between making it to the finals of our first (and so far only) Supernova series to opening for Chad Muska and Brassmunk at the Wakestock afterparty, Aaron, Gideon, Kevin, Blythe, Dan and I have collectively walked the line of this musical journey to its fullest, and when we reached the city limits, we proceeded to draw our own on and beyond.

I think we all realized that we had to round this summer off with a bang – spirits were definitely high. We all knew that deep down we were going to be facing difficulties come fall season: Gideon and Aaron would be going back to high school and have new areas of focus in their lives, Kevin would be assuming more responsibilities at our current place of employment, and I would be heading into my third year at university. Blythe would be going into her first year at a university three hours away from Toronto, and Conor and Dan would be an hour and a half away from the city from September ’07 until April ’08. At that point, it seemed that the cheque reality wrote us was just too big a sum for us to cash.

With that in mind, what do you think we did? Did we gather together to have some quiet, quality band time? Did we sit around bummed out, with our hands gripped firmly around our genitals fearing the worst for the future of our band? Did we practice as much as possible to really save the best show for last? Nope.

Blythe and I drank ourselves to a flatline, throwing shot after shot back while Tongue N’ Groove packed their set up. When it was our turn, we exploded onto the set with enough energy to power most of Manhattan. The point of the night – sorry, the point of the band – was to have fun, and at this show more so than others, I firmly feel that the mission was finally accomplished. We literally came up with the set list for this song five minutes before showtime, but who gives a shit, structure is overrated – anyway, the crowd seemed to enjoy it. As much fun as we had, though, the way the night played out, the band’s musicianship was very secondary at this event.

Once we got out of the Rancho Relaxo, we had an encounter with a homeless guy who seemed to be very nice and not at all unstable considering his situation. Unfortunately, Gideon and I are not kind peoples, and instead of giving him change, we fed him a nice thick slice of bullshit cake, with extra icing:

HomelessGuy: Hey, heard the noise upstairs, sounded alright, eh? Where you guys all from?

Gideon: We’re from Nunavut.

HomelessGuy: Nunavut? Ain’t that like, way up there?

Gideon: Yeah man, we come from a-farrrrrrrrr.

HomelessGuy: Wow, that’s quite a trek for you kids, hey?

Yui: Yeah, I guess so, but we’re used to it. My parents are full-time husky breeders, so I’m lucky, ‘cause I have my own team of dogs, you know? It helps me get around…

HomelessGuy: Oh no shit, eh? I’ll bet they’re real fast.

Yui: That they are, but there’s another side to owning a team of huskies that a lot of people don’t know about. They’re real hard to parallel park, for example.

Gideon: Yeah, and they shit all over the place, anytime they feel like it.

HomelessGuy: Hahaha, yeah, I know what you mean!

Yui: Oh I bet.

Gideon: Except you’ve never seen your shit frozen in an igloo before… it gets real tough to scrape off the walls.

Yui: People have lost homes over that.

HomelessGuy: Wow. That’s just… wow.

One thing I will say about Soul Plane that truly comes off as a band characteristic is that we always manage to get ourselves caught up in some retarded situation at every show (just read up articles in the Blog Archive for examples). This show was no different: aside from parking right in the middle of a gang fight, I almost kicked the dirty out of some crackhead who wouldn’t stop harassing me for a cigarette. I usually try to be civil, even to the lowest of society’s scum – but when I told this guy I didn’t have a smoke for him, he reached for the one I was smoking and as I sidestepped to dodge, his grubby-ass hands smeared on my face. I lost my shit:

Yui: Yo, I told you I don’t have a smoke for you; if you put your hands on me one more time I will break your fucking face. Are we clear on that?

Crackhead: Aaagh faack you, I joost wanted a faackin’ smoke, what’s your problem?

Yui: Listen, you drunk bastard, I don’t give a fuck what you want; I told you I don’t have a fucking smoke for you. Get the fuck out of here before I kick the shit out of you.

Gideon (behind me): Yo just fucking pop him, Yui, just fucking pop him.

Crackhead: Faaaaack you!

Yui: Seriously, man, if you don’t walk the fuck away right now I’m going to fuck your shit up, do you understand me?

Crackhead: Yeah yeah yeah… faaaaaaaaaacker!!

As I say this, the crackhead starts to walk, gesticulating wildly at me and babbling some incoherent shit.

Yui: Don’t even look back, you God-damned degenerate.

Crackhead (turning around as if he wants to start something): HEY. FAAACK. YOU.

Yui: What the fuck did I just say? Take a step back here and watch what the fuck happens to you.

Blythe: YUI! STOP IT! HE’S FUCKING DRUNK AND HE’S GOING TO KILL YOU.

Gideon: Blythe, shut the fuck up.

Kevin: Yeah, honestly, Yui can take care of himself.

Blythe: Don’t tell me to shut the fuck up, Gideon, fuck you.

Crackhead: Ehhhhhhhh you isn’t shit, boy.

Yui: Yo walk back here if you got balls, cocksucker, you think I won’t beat the shit out you in front of all these people? You think I give a fuck who’s watching?

At this point the first homeless guy we were talking to right after the show (I guess he wasn’t in a rush to leave after we started ignoring him) grabs Crackhead by his clothes and pleads with him to not “mess with that guy, he’s a seal hunter from Nunavut, and he’ll turn you into hamburger patty.” Anyone else would have laughed, but to Crackhead’s intoxicated thought process, this seemed like a sound reason to leave the rest of Soul Plane and myself alone; he just walked off mumbling, twitching and throwing his hands in the air.

What a weird fucking band I’m in.

In One Ear Throwdown Showdown

Date: August 18^th, 2007
Venue: El Mocambo
Series: In One Ear Throwdown Showdown

This is a text message I received on my cell phone from Blythe at 2pm, the day of the show:

“Yo I am so sick. I have been puking all night and morning. This is the first time I have been able to open my eyes. My head is pounding and I can’t get out of bed.”

I swear, it’s almost as if the only thing that is unfalteringly consistent with this band is how often fate shits on us. On the day of the show, every single one of us was either plagued by allergies or infected with some bug – this was going to be bad. I woke up feeling half-decent and somewhat ready to perform. My condition worsened greatly over the course of the day; I think at some point I actually had a temperature thrown on top of my sore throat and runny nose. Everyone felt like shit, and Blythe not being able to reach didn’t make matters any better. We kept Conor posted about our situation, and he told us not to worry: worse comes to worst, Soul Plane could just wing it. Thanks, asshole, I love having no idea what the fuck I’m doing in front of a crowd of people for an hour – I’ll just blow my nose into my polo shirt all night.

On our way to soundcheck, Dan came up with the brilliant idea of getting a hotel room downtown Toronto. So I made the reservations at a Holiday Inn a block away from the El Mocambo, hoping that this would raise our spirits, which were currently succumbing to gravity from feeling like a crate of anvils fell on your dick and not having Blythe’s presence at a show for the first time in Soul Plane history.

The plan was to get plastered at the hotel room before the show, play the set, and head out of the venue to party at another club. What unfolded was that we ended up cancelling the hotel room because Gideon couldn’t stick around for the afterparty, we played the show (Conor damn near single-handedly saved us with his scratching over what Blythe was supposed to sing), and then we sat around smoking weed and getting progressively sicker for over an hour because we promised the band that was playing after us that they could use Aaron’s drum set. It was not a fun night, but the show must go on.

There really isn’t much else to say about this show – individually, we all felt differently about the way things worked out that night. For the most part, everyone loved it; the cheers were loud, the venue was pretty classy (we were on the main floor), and even Conor (who has standards high enough to make birds look up) said that he thought we threw down one of our better sets that he’s seen since he’s been managing us. Whatever, we were too sick and tired of being sick and tired to care – at that point, we were just glad to have gotten the damn thing over with.

One thing I find commendable in our band work ethic is our perseverance. I would grow a beard in the time it would take for me to tell you about each instance where we’ve had to overcome ridiculous adversities. Read any of the previous blogs I’ve been putting up – virtually every show, nay, every practice we have to deal with some shit God’s pet gorilla decides to fling our way. One time, and I swear to anything you want this is 100% true, we were supposed to have our last practice before a huge show (I believe it was the semi-finals of the Band on the Run series) – and Dan’s house gets struck with a power outage. Any less determined of a band would have given up and fucked practice, but not us; we toe-punted misfortune in the tits and started jamming acoustic. Upon realizing we were not in the mood for its bullshit, misfortune quickly assumed the foetal position and surrendered – power was once again restored to the Paiken household and we carried on with business as usual.

Soul Plane – like I told you… we’re playing for keeps.