I’m not a businessman; I’m a business, man.
-- Hovis, on Kanye West’s “Diamonds From Sierra Leone Remix”
There’s a reason (maybe several) that this blog has been left neglected since I put “No Worries” up for your listening pleasure at the end of February (aside from the MSN conversation between Conor and myself that I posted). After having gone into hiding for the last several weeks, I emerge proudly from the depths of my dooj den with this announcement: Machinehead Studio and Soul Plane have partnered up for a grand total of one philanthropic commitment and one business venture.
Machinehead Studio’s Mayor Dave has expressed great interest in the charity movement that I am in the midst of putting together. He has offered up Machinehead Studio to Soul Plane’s Off The Street, Onto Beats Foundation (see Charity Case blog -- December 9, 2007) as the primary location for our kids to record music at, and has even volunteered his production, mixing and mastering services to the foundation in hopes of pushing our cause even further. Our conversation went something along these lines:
Dave: Oh, and yeah, about that charity thing you were telling me about last time… we’re definitely signing up for that. Just email
Yui: I appreciate it, man, that’s big news. Didn’t know you were one of those, “it’s better to give than to receive” types.
Dave: Unless it’s oral sex.
Yui: At which point you’ll give only if he promises to give back.
Dave: Right.
Very professional.
The best part of the double whammy though: on behalf of Soul Plane, I will be teaming up with Dave and Machinehead Studio to help kickstart a curriculum the studio will soon be offering: courses on how to set up a proper studio, and how to use that studio to produce that industry-quality sound once it’s set up (software and hardware) so that one day you, too, can be your very own Dave. Believe it or not, there is glory and reward in mixing music around the clock, 28 hours a day, 12 days a week. There is glory and reward in being permanently hooked to an espresso machine via an intravenous unit in order to turn those all-nighters into all-weekers so that deadlines can be made. There is glory and reward in opening the door at ungodly hours looking like a crack addict searching for a next fix for angry shotgun-wielding bands who want their demos, like, three weeks ago.
The details here are still hazy, but the talks are in session. The gist of it is that I will be helping out with the administrative processes and the managing of student accounts once we generate enough interest and acquire some kind of attendance. Here’s how I closed the deal:
Yui: At which point you’ll give only if he promises to give back.
Dave: Right.
Yui: I’ll give back.
Just kidding. Here’s how it really went:
Yui: Yo, you really know your way around this Pro Tools thing, huh?
Dave: Yessir, please believe it.
Yui: How much is it to learn all this mumbojumbo at like, Harris or Trebas?
Dave: Altogether, what with Harris and Metalworks (recording arts schools), I think I’ve spent way over $20,000 on this.
Yui: How the hell can people afford that?
Dave: They don’t. I prostituted myself.
Yui: Why don’t you offer lessons yourself? I’m sure there are people out there who want to learn this shit without having to memorize the scientific definition of a “decibel.” You could offer an actual Pro Tools course, like, how to use it and what not… how to make seriously quality-sounding music. Obviously you’ll be able to charge much less than those schools. Don’t cram it with all the theoretical stuff no one cares about, but mince it out and make it hands-on… incorporate it, you know? You could get real professional with it, too, and write out a whole curriculum… make it a 6 week course, 2 sessions a week, 2 hours per session… or whatever.
Dave: That’s actually not a bad idea…
Yui: We’ll do this together. Charge whatever you want to charge, and keep all the profits; I could care less about the money. I will put in work for you, though… I can handle the admin stuff. I’ll work with
Dave: Bartering… I like it. Sounds good to me!
Sounds good to me, too, buddy. Sounds even better to Soul Plane. But it’s not like I’m not going to try and sneak in under the radar and sweeten the deal:
Yui: Also, I’m going to be requiring one of those Machinehead Studio polo shirts. XXL. Thanks.
Finally, in other, perhaps more pertinent news, I just spoke to Dave not too long ago… we will be getting our next radio single, entitled “Impossible,” next Wednesday. What a thinks it’s not going to be ass-kickage. I’m not even going to be able to sleep until then.
