Over the summer, MuchMusic contacted Soul Plane and informed us that they would be invading our lives for a good couple months to film our band's debauchery and give us some national television exposure and to put us through rockstar training to see if we have what it takes to make it somewhere in the music industry. If you haven't seen the episode or heard the verdict yet, catch it online now at http://www.muchmusic.com/tv/disband/soulplane.asp (full-screen the window for the optimal in-yo'-face experience). These are my memoirs from our time on set with Much...
Day 7 – August 1st, 2008
Location: Senior’s home across from Much building
Time: 3pm
They had warned us that today’s interview was going to be the toughest one of our lives. We were ready, though – we had spent several weeks dodging questions on camera with answers that would inevitably lead to drama, or something that looked like drama, or something that could be edited way out of context to be used as something that resembled drama. Much VJ Hannah Simone would have to do her worst.
And boy, did she ever.
After some general warm-up questions, Hannah started talking about the fact that she checked out the tapes of my freestyle battle with Bishop and noticed with much distaste that I had used an “f-word that rhymes with ‘maggot’” at the very beginning of my verse. Just to put things in context, the minute Greig Nori gave me the go-ahead to start freestyling against Bishop, I rhymed: “You fucking faggot, you couldn’t get it up at the Playboy Mansion/ but you were halfway there when you saw Hanson.” Or something like that.
She commented on how saying words like that on camera would immediately offend an entire population group and how it could, in a situation where we were established, ruin the image and credibility of the whole band as a group that was trying to promote clean music. I think she expected some kind of overreaction, or maybe a show of remorse and regret; hopefully not, because she got neither from me. I casually explained to her that several factors contributed to my having uttered it: first of all, it was a freestyle battle. Nothing is off-limits in this arena – all the lyrics used in a battle like this are fresh off the dome – spontaneous (at least they’re supposed to be). In that context, the point is for one emcee to degrade the other as badly as possible, and whether it’s acceptable or not socially, in the hip hop world it is considered a blistering insult to question an emcee’s heterosexuality, especially if it’s done cleverly. “Faggot” helped emphasize the Playboy and Hanson references – the word itself was a set-up for the two lines that followed. Secondly, I noted that the battle was, in effect, pulling me out of a four-year retirement from the scene; I was rusty, and they were forcing me into a war of unpremeditated words I never asked to fight, but that if I declined, it would make my entire band look weak on national TV – what did you expect? Eloquent poetry? Please.
Hannah Simone was relentless, however – she continued to insist that the general public would judge my usage of the word “faggot” as inappropriate. She said in the best battles that she had witnessed, even if they involved usage of that term, the emcees implemented it creatively into ripping punchlines that made you go “whoa.” But apparently, the way I used it would make everyone hate me and bring about an ugly reflection on the rest of Soul Plane. I coolly stated that anything could be taken out of context and be spun to sound terrible, but in the rap battle context and environment we were in, I could make no apologies for anything other than maybe for being too unprepared to think of a different word to question his sexual orientation with. In the battle-rap world, you don’t make apologies for lines you spit (no matter how obscene) because these are battles – supposedly full of exaggeration and hyperbole in its degrading nature, never meant to be taken in any other way other than with a grain of salt. You’ve all seen 8 Mile by now...
Besides, it’s not like the person who I directed the insult to, Bishop, took it personal, so why should anyone else? I was clearly not looking to offend ALL homosexuals of the past, present, and future – this was not the intention. It’s a battle – I’m rapping before I’m thinking here – there’s no need to read deeper than that. People taking things said in battles way out of context and way too seriously are the very reasons I left the scene behind. I’m no longer a battle emcee by trade, and as far as MuchMusic was concerned, they had no idea that I had ever even taken part in any type of lyrical spat in my life. They threw me into the ring without thinking that I’d be bringing a certain level of experience with me. They had expected me to back out, or at the very least stutter through most of a shitty excuse for a battle verse – both of which would have made for excellent, embarrassing drama to be aired on national television. Surprise, assholes!
On the real, though, you wanted a battle, right? This was a reality show, right? Well, this is the grimy reality of the battle scene, and part of why I bounced from it so long ago in the first place. I said that our real fans would know how out-of-my-element I was and they would take that into consideration (along with the fact that it’s a F-R-E-E-S-T-Y-L-E where, again, you’re rapping before you’re thinking) before condemning me – if they’re smart enough to appreciate our music in the first place, then they’re smart enough to realize that a freestyle battle is night-and-day of a world’s difference from a written, musical composition. Furthermore, one of the major selling points of Soul Plane’s music has always been that it’s uplifting in spirit. With the Bishop battle, MuchMusic had driven me all the way over to the other end of the spectrum with one mission statement to bear in mind: defame Bishop’s character and demoralize him as heavily as possible – the worse I could make him feel the better it would look on me. So, whether you judge me for the clean, positive music I make voluntarily, or whether you judge me based on a word I used (in context, might I add) during a freestyle battle that I was virtually forced into by MuchMusic against one of the world’s most formidable opponents in the domain of battle rap, the decision is ultimately yours.
Mel interjected here and said that people should not judge us based on my usage of that word because I was by no means representing the mentalities of anyone in the group during that battle, and probably not even my own. It was strictly between me and Bishop, and that in any setting we must allow for slip-ups and mistakes. Mel went on to assure Hannah that she personally loved the gay community and had a lot of gay friends so obviously she didn’t condone any use of that word in any context, but that on behalf of the band she apologized for my mistake. However, Mel did acknowledge that it was a freestyle, along with the possibility that I might have been initially overwhelmed by such a formidable opponent as Bishop which made me throw caution to the wind, to paraphrase. I was later questioned during my confessional on how I felt about Mel stepping in and offering up the apology despite the fact that I had said myself that I was not remorseful, and I said: “I think that Mel is definitely entitled to her opinion, and if she honestly feels that an apology is due, and that’s her true belief, then who am I to argue? I firmly encourage her to voice her opinion.” This is 100% true, and I agree with the fact that “faggot” is a word that implies hate towards a whole community, but let’s be honest, no one who knows how to look at the big picture and the context of things here would take offense. And if you did, I apologize now – I thought better of your judgement than to assume you were petty and oversensitive about a word that has literally zero meaning when used in the context of a rap battle. NOTHING has meaning in a rap battle – anyone who thinks otherwise needs a serious reality check.
As for Gideon, he displayed remarkable indifference when he was asked about how he felt about my saying “faggot.” If a 16-year-old kid who sits around picking his asshole all day and doesn’t even listen to hip hop can understand the context, then so can just about anyone else. Life is not that serious.
After thoroughly exhausting the topic, Hannah finally shifted gears off the topic of demeaning gays and asked about band dynamics. She tried to imply that because Mel was the only female in the band, one of the guys was bound to start liking her as more than a friend. I playfully said that I already did. Mel handled this one quite well: “Soul Plane is too much like a family... Yui’s like, the dad, I’m the band mom, Gideon and Aaron are the two kids, Kevin’s the grandpa, and Luke’s the crazy uncle... there’s a lot of love in this band, but not anything like that. Never anything like that. It would just jeopardize everything we’ve worked so hard to build up.” Hannah persisted: “Well, you never know, these things do happen.” Trust me, lady, not over here they don’t, because if they did, that would definitely get in the way of making music in too many ways to bother noting, and this would be illegally unacceptable. We have no time for trivial matters like emotions and feelings in this band.
Hannah eventually gave up trying to find out about (and create) band dynamics and moved forward to putting us on the spot about how we would handle getting famous down the line and the cliché path of “sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll” (she actually said this) we could end up walking. I fielded this question by explaining that our goals at the moment involved none of the above, and that the path we were pursuing was leaning more towards ensuring that as many people as possible get a chance to hear our music. All we would have to do to avoid deviating from this objective is focus our energy on passing around our product by any means necessary without getting caught up with all the bells and whistles and unnecessary extras.
Finally, Hannah dropped the most ridiculous question of the hour in my opinion. She asked us which band member we would drop if a label told us that six of us were too many to promote properly. At first Hannah wanted to hear it from Mel, but Mel told Hannah that she didn’t feel obliged to answer the question. So I did: “Wait, it doesn’t really make sense that a label would express interest in us based on the strength of our music, and then come back around to tell us that someone needs to be cut. Any label would realize that the loss of any single one of us would take our music in a completely different direction, that it would irrevocably change the very concept they were digging in the first place.” Obviously, the chances of this scenario ever unfolding in real life are slim to none. Good try, though, Hannah.
One of the last questions of the interview was, “What was it about Greig Nori that annoyed you the most?” I don’t think Hannah thought out the question clearly before she asked it. Between Mel, Gideon and myself, we couldn’t think of a single thing about Greig that pissed us off, other than us not having more time to work with him and get his feedback before the big show. I don’t get how anyone could get annoyed at someone of Greig’s status in the music industry offering his help and support to cut a smash hit single for your band. Next question please.
Hannah Simone concluded the interview by asking if we felt we were ready for the performance in front of the judges. We acknowledged that there was a lot of work to be done in the visual presentation department but that we were confident about being able to muck through it and come out on top, and that musically we were good to go. She thanked us for our time, we thanked her for hers. She wished us good luck, and we parted ways.
I can’t wait ‘til they air me saying “faggot” (albeit censored) on national television. It’s gonna be funny.
